That's So Random

I fear I may have taken the title for this post from a pun of a Disney tv show, well at least I have according to the sky programme planner. Anyway this post concerns randomness. There's always been debate over religion and science, fate and randomness, I guess I wanted to have a little chat about randomness. Or what I like to think of as the spice of life. Believe me when I say this, you have no idea where this is going!

Randomness is a wonderful thing, it's a beautiful thing as well, and I mean beautiful in an American Beauty sense, the sense that something can be both destructive and ultimately bad, but ultimately beautiful as well. Randomness is said to work in all sorts of ways that out mind cannot even imagine, but randomness, I believe is crucially something that we fear. Worlds have fallen to there needs through the presence of randomness, stock markets don't like it, computers don't like it, human being do not like it, nature does not like it! Or so we are lead to believe. We desperately search for pattern in everything, nature, numbers, time itself. If time were random, who knows where would be. If there were not patterns of predictability in the world, we would be as screwed as Paris Hilton at a handycam festival. Summary: random is bad.

But if we take a simple yet perverse example of meeting random stranger on the Internet, in chat rooms, whilst your out and about, it's exciting. Not knowing the next step, is for some a very horrible prospect! But think about those momenta you were indeed uncertain, you may have been scared and unsure, but it was exciting wasn't it. Much like leaving home without your phone, it feels risky and dangerous. This us fun. Whilst I have no intention of living my own life just making random choices as I go along, I still enjoy those moments in life when you don know what to do. Why fear it? What's the point of living if you can't feel alive? Like many subject I blog about, this involves getting over one more obstacle that holds us back and stops is living life to the degree it should be lived. So go fourth and be random! It's bloody good fun!

An Apology- The Glass is Half Empty

I apologise for doing this but I'm giving a review of a local pub of mine. The Danson Stables. What was meant to be a quiet evening drink with a couple of friends, was in fact one of the worst experiences of my life. That may sound over dramatic, and it is, but still, it was really bad! The place was empty, and this was on a Friday night! Despite being empty, it took the barmen (who I'll get to in a moment) so long to serve 3 drinks that I actually had the time to go to the toilet and comeback. The selection of drinks was really the most surprising thing. They had nothing! Dirty tasting beers, barely any spirits, and over priced, over descriptive wine list, that could have been put together by your local newsagent! One of our friends didn't have any ID on him and was subsequently refused service, despite him clearly being over 18, and not even the one buying the drinks! It gets worse! When we bought a drink on his behalf, we were confronted by the dumb, abrasive, unfriendly, PONYTAILED, barman, who looked like he was more suited to selling crack than he was food and alcohol! After threatening to throw us out of the urinal of a pub, we decided to leave anyway. With such a pretty building and amazing location, it's shocking how the interior of the pub resembles a set from Downton Abbey! The place stank of smoke, and cheaply microwaved food, the tables were sticky and there bits of food left on them from other peoples plates, we had what appeared to be mint or some other herb stuck down with semen, or some other condiment. Considering this place is situated in a park, it's certainly not family friendly, there is an untidy, crooked beer garden. And out the front is the carpark, why not let your kids play under a car? From checking out a few reviews on the food, I hear that's pretty damn awful, and from the menu it appears everything is served with peas! Everything! All in all this pub is a waste of time, money and space, three things I value dearly. So unless you are interested in having your kids refused a bag of crisps because they need their parent to be served them, you want a poor selcetion of food and drink served to you by complete morons, that keep vinegar in a cupboard outside, and want to contract MRSA, then visit Danson Stable. You might like it....if your fucking retarded!

I'm modern man and I'm a drug addict

So firstly let's make it clear, this is posting to both my blogs, the personal one, and the blattle field. Subject your wondering! My holy grail: espresso, the true elixer of life. I'm drinking espresso right now, I'll be drinking espresso later and I'll be drinking espresso to the day I die! What I'm saying is: my name is Sam Porter and Im a caffeine adict. Espresso is nothing more than a drug. Like an addict I wake up and need it! I get grumpy when I don't get it, whilst working, I cannot function without it! That brings me to the point I'm trying to make: what's the difference between me and my caffeine, a smoker, an alcoholic an a drug addict? Nothing. They are the same thing. Drug addicts. I go further. Paracetamol, asprin even antibiotics, these are all drugs, that we in the modern world rely on. Yes they are benficial, but with the apprarence of superbugs resistant to our modern day magic, perhaps we are becoming too chemically dependent. Our quest to prolongue our lives, is perhaps in fact our demise.

So, now iv called most of the planets population, drug addicts, and condemed the human rac to extinction through our overuse of drugs and chemicals, surely your expecting me to suggest a solution? Well I will, buts it's not what you would expect. I propose that we embrace our drug filled lives and get on with it, sure we could doom humanity, but if you've learnt anything from my previous thoughts, we're doomed already. Go fourth and abuse substances of a mind spinning variety. Cease the moment and live whilst you've got the oppirtunity!

The Gauntlet is thrown

Here, we, go...Have you ever heard the story of the brave knight who looked over his land, and was appaled at what he saw, so he went to the King and had a bit of a bitch-fest. The results of said fest where, the King made a decree to his Lords that that they should setup a special group to combat the evil in the land. The Lords were displeased at the prospect of having to do their jobs, so they punished the Knight by forcing him into the special group, suddenly the Knight wished he haddened opened his big fat mouth. So he, a lesbian, a couple of black guys, a couple of white guys and a retard set force into the realm of Baltimore and setup wire taps on pay phones. Ofcourse I refer to the Wire, the tv show, the...no thats it. I coud talk about the wire, as it appears I am, but like any good story, a springboard was required. The real subject here is in fact the phone hacking scandal. The News of the World (come on...news? I dont think so) has been hacking the phones of celebrities and politicians and who cares! My point here is that professional journalists needed to listen to the private messages of public individuals just to make stories. How is it possible that people employed to write and enlighten the world, are so incapable of using their imagination and own opinion to write an article? I can, im sure you can, and we do it for free, in our spare time, so why exactly are journalist becoming more and more incapable of writing instead or reporting! Sure, Sienna Miller is really rather hot, but why the hell would i want to read news thats been made up , based on her phone messages 'hi sienna, its mum, i got some fish finger in for the kids, you want any?

Wire tapping criminals or wire tapping celebrities? You put it like that and suddenly you realise that in fact that breaching of laws by a newspaper, a big cover up, lots of pay-offs, and plain old corruption shows us just how our tabloids work. They work by intruding into the lives of inncocent people and picking through every little bit of their exhistance, what im saying here is whats the differece between a criminal and a celebrity? Obvious isnt it? Criminals get a fair trial. Now suddenly it appears i may have just suggested that celebrities have a hard life. Whilst I could now hit on celebrities and celeb culture, I remember this is a war. and there are always 2 sides to a battle!

Rebuff that!

SO IT BEGINS

This is the first in what I hope is many a blog, aimed at defeating the Dark Lord Hirush (no pun intended). Blog on blog, man on...wait...no, im not saying that. Much like a dance-off, or yo mamma fight, we aim to retort one anothers post, with a blog of our own. It will be tough, it will be blood curdling and it will be damn funny, ut today we fight! We fight for attention, we fight for unique visits, we fight because someone has too!!!
By the way you can view Hirush's blog at: http://www.myamphigories.com/
Yeah, he actually setup a seperate site, what kind of blogger is that damn evil!!