Monday, 23 July 2012

LINK: The Dark Knight Rises (2012): The Comic Adaptation Falls

Link to post can be found here: Dark Knight Rises Review

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Re-post: Breaking Bad (2012): The End Justifies The Extreme

A re-post via:

I usually make some effort to come up with a witty pun when writing a tittle for a post but for this I simply use the shows tagline, mainly because I do not think I need make attempt to get your attention, and also I cant be bothered.

I guess this has been a long time coming, a review of a TV show that is, and what a better choice. Breaking Bad has of course started up for a new season and in some ways it really has been desperately needed. The season 5 premiere in a nutshell: better than anything that has graced a cinema screen this year, all 42 minutes of it! When I started this blog at the end of last year I speculated and salivated over some of the films we had to look forward to in 2012, I can now say, with more than half the year already gone, I was wrong. 2012 has so far been nothing but a disappointment in terms of film, despite so much excitement my favorite film of this year has been Chronicle, and I didn't even know what that was until I watched it. TV on the other hand has been having one of its finest years ever! The quality and diversity of television has been ever increasing as budgets get bigger, production values improve infinitely and what better proof than Game of Thrones, and more and more talented individuals including well known film makers flock to HBO and AMC to release their creative juices, I need not list the countless number of writers, directors and actors that are continually involving themselves in televised projects.

TV has become Hollywood's exclusive brothel, where anything goes, and terms like family orientated lie dead and infected with chlamydia. The intelligent and hilariously crude humor of shows like Girls can share the airwaves with Tween Wolf (a possible typo my have occurred but I stand by my words). Spartacus can sever heads and Aaron Sorkin can write episode after episode of inspirational speech. And Breaking Bad exists! I consider the season 2 finale of the West Wing to be the greatest hour of drama ever written, the Sopranos end finale has a better ending than sex itself, and Breaking Bad deserves to be the first TV show ever awarded an Oscar because it is better than all other forms of entertainment that currently exist. The writing, direction, acting, cinematography and even editing are at a standard that most films will never achieve because they are too concerned with appealing to a family audience or converting to 9.54-D, all in order to make money. Cinema is what is wrong with film at the moment. But that is for another time.

Breaking Bad is the epitome of a good television and other than maybe the Dark Knight Rises there really isn't anything else id rather watch so then surely the end really does justify the means? It is uncompromising, brutal and relentless and that is what makes Breaking Bad so damn good, it does not care what stands in its way, much like Mr White himself, it takes us to the extremes, the extreme of what good viewing is and should be, however they should choose to end the show I can confidently say that the creators will not alter from these truly admirable principles, and that I standby.      


Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Full Metal Jacket (1987): Love You Long Time

Re-post from:

Yes, why I am quite fine thank you, no you too? Really?

Enough small talk, it has indeed been too long since my last post, but I think this time we will just skip the pleasantries. At some point last week I found myself with a lingering fetish for some Stanley Kubrick (we've all had that right?), I was flicking through my library, I eventually found the 'Great' for Kubrick section and then I had quite the dilemma, which film? How do you decide which Kubrick film to watch, Lolita is pretty ground breaking in terms of story, A Clock Work Orange has one of cinemas best characters, 2001: A Space Odyssey is...well its the greatest odyssey of cinematic artistry ever created, then there is Full Metal Jacket, a war movie, but with a distinct lack of all out war.

This ladies and gentleman is why I chose FMJ, because its a war movie, with a distinct lack of war. I could go into what the film is about and why it is an example of cinematic greatness but if you are reading this then you should already know and if you don't, then get your pathetic little maggot ass back to your Mommas house and go watch the film! Where was I? War. Most war films that we see today feature a lot of heavy battle scenes, huge explosions, and Michael Bay holding a small nuclear device with a manic look on his face. FMJ really breaks the mold in that it moves away from the traditional long shot of 100000000 tanks sweeping across France...its always France. We open in a military boot camp in the US , but instead of shipping our heroes out to experience 'the horror, oh the horror' of war that too often features as a secondary theme in most past and present war films, we get real men fighting as soldiers in a horrific series of events, the Vietnam war.

Kubrick can only be applauded for his bravery in brutally conveying the real horror of war, and that horror is that men become soldiers, and those soldiers too often lose the qualities that anchor them as men. Despite being so established and applauded, I struggle to think of few decent contemporary war films that confront this human toll of conflict and do not also feature an over arching hero complex, that dominates the film. Today we expect our war films to play a game of Call of Duty. In a society that preaches peace why is it that audiences actually want P.O.V camera shots that emphasise the blood splatter of a marine killing a generic terrorist. Why is it our taste in cinema swings between the most PG big budget blockbusters and vile homicidal fantasy. Why is it that mainstream film has evolved or should I say devolved to become completely and utterly emotionless and disconnected from eyes to screen?

FMJ is the film it is because I believe Kubrick purposely creates a brutal and emotionless atmosphere that takes characters, men with personalities and turns them into nothing more than mindless instruments of destruction inside the barrel of a gun. Guns only have one purpose. What is more FMJ not only provides a legitimate philosophical insight into the morality of war but also the morality and ethics of cinema: without emotion and without feeling we become nothing more than mindless zombies. This is my popcorn, there is much like it, but this is mine.

Long live the post-empire...


Saturday, 19 November 2011

Save the Masses, Silence the Individual!

I realised this morning that I haven’t really posted anything here in a while, so I thought this was a nice opportunity. I say I realised this morning, it’s actually a thoughts that’s been buzzing around in my head for a while, so whether I have finally been overcome with guilt or disappointment in myself; I’ve given in and here I am now thinking of something to discuss.

Much like a sad looking tortoise, I really have no idea where I am going, with this article that is. As I finish the line you’ve just read and start reading this one I now have a topic. The topic that has just sprung into my head you ask- its blogging (of course!). You have to wonder why it is someone who spends most of their week hurling his opinion of politics and the world on to strangers like some kind of fat, moustache lacking version of Hitler. Why does this individual no longer have anything to blog about? And the answer is…well, that’s the thing, I have no idea. So as any good authoritarian dictator does, I’m just going to make it up.

After poking through the ‘comment is free’ sections of the Guardians website, a story kept coming up. Racism in football. Now I really could not care less about the story itself, it’s just a particular quote that annoyed me a little ‘this Sepp Blatter racism row shows Britain’s morals are better than its football’. These words came from someone called Marina Hyde, now I can’t tell if that’s a man or a woman, so instead of offending their genitals, I’m going to destroy their opinion. First of all from what I can make out Mr Blatter is the old man in charge of football, so logically my first point is, all old people are racist so who cares? My second point is that most British people are naturally racist, so once again who cares, thirdly footballers are overpaid and mostly retarded, so who cares about them? Lastly, this is the 21st Century, where there are no such things as morals so once again, who cares? Well apparently a lot of people care. All of whom I’m sure have a variety of opinions and thoughts they squirt everywhere like the smell of urine that wafts off of most homeless people. Some of these people probably sit on some kind of parents association, have radical views on Europe. Some will be educated and fluent in their expressions, others will have the same way with words that Kerry Katona has. The point I’m making here is sometimes people really shouldn’t be given an opinion. Not because I don’t agree with them (well, partly), but mainly because they just make the world a little more difficult to live in.

When I first started this blog I posted an article on how it was part of the human condition to want to express ourselves. This is true. However if we put this universal need for expression into a political context (I’m using what I know), it’s certainly arguable that mass expressionism (as it shall be known) is harmful to democracy. We supposedly live in a liberal democracy, and for those who don’t know liberalism is a focus on the individual, whilst democracy is a focus on the masses. Yes that does mean the dominant global polity of the moment is a contradiction in turns, but it may also be killing us. Liberal values give us a right to express ourselves, yet often our expressions are too many and too varied, it makes democratic decision making very hard. The masses are suffering, well that’s what all the Occupy protestors are saying (they all happen waft the smell of urine everywhere too).

We end up in a tricky position, must we all donate some our individual freedom for the good of the masses, to ensure people like me, with our lack of moustaches are silenced? Should we all go communist? If China is anything to go by then, yes! It doesn’t take a reasonable person to realise that I have made a lot offensive and sweeping comments and judgements on society. Is this very article not the proof that is needed, that the mouth of liberalism needs shutting. The opinionated need to be restrained! Won’t someone stop us? And stop us now!!!

Thursday, 6 October 2011

A Tribute to a Saint

Good morning, this sombre Thursday morning is made now sadder by the death of a Diety, a legend, a genius. Saint Jobs passed away yesterday. He left millions of apple products distraught and and losing signal, and millions of customers wondering if there will be some kind of comemorative moment, by which I mean all iPods simultaneously switch on and play 'time to say goodbye'. He has bought so much happiness into so many lives, he may have made fancy pieces of plastic, but those plastics went out into the world and changed the lives of the people they met. Ask a stranger when they had the first apple flavoured realtionship and they will remeber the time and the place to exact detail. To go into a Cave of Holliness and consult a genius became for many, a pilgrimage, the variety of gleaming treasures sat abundently on ugly wooden tables while fat girls ask of you want help, it was paradise. And whilst the Fuhrer is gone his legacy remains, his spirit lives on in every piece of album artwork and bird related app. In any case His Holy Father will be missed greatly and remebered for ever.

In the name of iPod, the iPhone and the holy mac, amen.

Thursday, 30 June 2011

An Interview with God

Sat here now, waiting for my coffee to transistion from lava to something that I can drink, a thought popped into my head that I thought needed adressing. After consult, I came to the conclusion there was something seriously wrong with my review of South Park in my last post. So in the spirit of the occassion I'm gona try again, this time though, reviewing something far simpler. Starbucks. That sexy mermaid has marked the captialist era perfectly, squirting her mermaid eggs, here, there and literally everywhere.

I sit opposite my guest for this morning, his name is americano and he is black. It must be poured out that starbucks is a pretty multicultural place, iced coffee sharing the board with potent espresso, paninnis sharing the fridge with cake, what the menu at starbucks represents is one of the worlds most diverse and peaceful societies, a eutopia. It may seem a little calous of me to compare the starbuck menu to the goal of all humanity, but I sure as hell feel at total peace when looking at it.

This paticular starbucks I'm at the moment, has been a haunt of mine for many enduring years, and it's always been a refuge. The decor is moderate and minimalist at best, it's very...anorexic. The atmosphere is of warm and nostril hugging coffee which is ofcourse always good.

The service here has always been decent, however I haven't visited in a while and it's gone a little downhill. Staff stand around like mothers in a playground gossiping and service is a little slower than I appreciate. But still, ok.

My dear friend Americano is making wonderful company and at £2 for a pond sized cup, it's wondeful value for money. Apart from the strange fishy smell that oozes like a cows uterus during labour, the taste and appearence all hit the bar.

Americano moved to the USA as a young boy and much like a Mario Puzo story he grew up to become a true Don. His presence is ominous, and to be fair, there is good reason. There are not many drinks left of the menu that have held their true identity, Americano is one of them. Descended origionally from the coffees of old, Americano has never been tainted by cream or a shot of vanillia. I really do live coffee and thi paticular coffee i tgink symbolises everything that Starbucks aims to be, simple, decent and everywhere (he just got spilt all over the table).

Starbucks has emerged quickly to become a pillar of any decent civilization, much like a hallmark, no town, no city is complete with out a Starbuck to fill you mug and suck dry your wallet. If there were a phrase to sum up what Starbucks is, well then it's Starbucks own motto "Its not just coffee it's Starbucks". Amen to that!